This week’s sermon of Odin’s Wisdom is about how “Grieving Is Different For All of Us”. I felt like it was important to elaborate and kind of continue if you will from last week’s sermon of “You Can’t Escape Your Own Mortality!“. In part, I think this is a way that I can grieve a little and maybe find some sense of peace and closure, with the loss of my youngest daughter last week.
This week’s sermon is specifically dedicated to the memory of my daughter Alyssa Marie Bishop. You will always be loved and missed!
The 7 Stages of Grief
According to a site called Thrive Talk there are 7 stages of grief. If there are it would seem I’ve blasted through several very quickly. I also seem to have rearranged the order of the stages. LOL. No, but seriously the whole point here is that all of us are very different from one another. As such we will all face things in a different way. We will either deal with fried positively or the opposite which of course negatively.
Here are the 7 stages according to Thrive Talk. I will go through each of them and how they were for me.
- Shock and Disbelief:
For me this was instant. To which I immediately began calling local authorities about my daughter. I called her phone several times trying to disprove what I’d been told. Obviously now there was no point but I gave it hell trying. Once the local law enforcement had confirmed the tragedy, I pretty much lost my mind. I had a meltdown as I have never had.
I didn’t really have much time here. I mean I suppose before I was able to confirm with the law enforcement that she had in fact died I was in this stage. But after that not really.
Wow! This stage really hit me like a ton of bricks. Like any adult child at times, we agree to disagree and kind of keep our distance. Up until a couple of years ago, we had done just that. But then we have been talking via video chat on one platform or another between 2 and 4 times a week as she lived in another state.
That said Id spoke with her just 2 days before she passed away and she seemed to be her normal happy bubbly self. Smiling and giggling at the news that Id just remarried after 20 years of being divorced. So I blamed myself for not seeing it. Not seeing the sadness in her eyes or hearing it in her voice. Questioning myself how could I not have seen it.
- Anger and Bargaining:
Okay, So as most of you know there is no one religion I have ever studied and I have studied many, that is okay with the taking of your own life. It’s considered to be the ultimate sin. That sin is so bad that in most cultures its believed you will face a version of hell that is eternal. Given this knowledge in the information, it pissed me off.
To me, there is no honor in what she did. What she did was selfish. It was an act of instant gratification that would have eternally long and painful repercussions, regardless of religious beliefs. So she ended one suffering for another? I can’t wrap my head around that. I feel bad for her because I was not able to stop her from committing that one ugly selfish act.
So yeah I am Angry!
- Depression, Loneliness, Reflection:
I don’t feel only or depressed… I’ve kind of started working on ONP stuff again as you can see. Some could say that is a version of depression and loneliness I guess. But I don’t feel like that’s the case. I also know that I am generally a workaholic anyway.
- Reconstruction and Working Through:
I think by getting back to working with things for Old Norse Paganism and doing so slowly that I am working through this mess I’ve been dealing with. I also think it’s good for me to take it one step at a time. By slowly getting back to doing all the things I was in my life and with Old Norse Paganism I feel Like I am doing what I need to do and taking time for me.
As much as I might sound like a dick, I feel Like I have made it here. I have come to terms with the fact that she and I won’t be talking as we once did. It doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to talk to her. But I am having a lock of her hair put into a custom Mjölnir locket that I can bless and replace the one I currently wear. This will allow me to keep her close to me. Im sure from time to time I will have some bad days. But I also know I have all of you and the gods beside me to help me through those days.
My Way of Griving
My way and yours may differ a little or a lot. That doesn’t make it right or wrong. No one can judge you for it. I mean don’t get me wrong you go out and start doing things like robbing people or doing drugs or boozing, well that’s a little different. Those are not positive outlets or productive ways to handle the loss of someone. Try to find someone that can be the pillar of strength you need in these times. For me, its my wife and my mother.
Grieving Is Different For All of Us Video
Mya the gods bless you and keep you all safe.